on my mind: confrontation

ahhhh confrontation. it's just not an easy thing, no way to get around it. sometimes you have to confront people about the things that bother you, with the hope of getting it resolved. confrontation has been a difficult thing for me the last few years...since i became a therapist, somehow i'm expected to handle every situation perfectly. this pressure is about 50% self-imposed, and 50% other-imposed. yes, i've since heard..."And YOU'RE a therapist?!?" this is a huge misconception about therapists that needs to be addressed.

i wish people would understand that while i have the skills and knowledge to help others with their relationships...that doesn't mean that i'm perfect, and i'm not going to handle my relationships perfectly. i have feelings, and sometimes those feelings overwhelm me and i say things i shouldn't or do things i shouldn't. becoming a therapist was not a life-long plan. i wasn't striving my whole life to know what a healthy person was and then practicing it. i didn't go to therapy myself until college. i have all kinds of things working against me....genetics, past experiences that continue to haunt me, self-doubt....i strive every day to not let things like this affect me...but the reality is that sometimes, they do.

i understand where the judgement comes from. it only seems to make sense that since my profession is helping others succeed in their relationships/lives, become more emotionally intelligent and capable, i should be able to do this as well. i'm held to a higher standard. however, i'd be an extremely unhealthy person if i went through life not feeling anything...for fear of what people would think if i expressed some emotion. it's not to say that i should get a free pass on anything i do or say, but it is to say that people should not operate on an ingnorant assumption.

the other thing is this. usually a confrontation involves more than one person. therefore, i could do everything right, and it could still blow up in my face. instead of pointing the finger, assuming that everything should go smoothly...people need to take responsibility for their own role in things.

all i ask is this: put down the magnifying glass. if you want to look at something...look within yourself. if you need some help or an objective opinion...find a good therapist.