i give up!!

well, it had been a few weeks since my last interview and i hadn't yet heard anything, so i decided to give them a call and check in. i heard back from the person i interviewed with this morning, and they filled the position already...with someone who is bi-lingual. she said i did great in the interview, not to be discouraged and had i just been bi-lingual i'd have had the job. her advice...speak spanish! *sigh* i just have to shake my head. i know a few words of german...does that count?? all this schooling under my belt and here i sit. *sigh again*

i guess a silver lining in this cloud could be that i did get a call today for an interview as a victim's advocate at a domestic violence safehouse. i have that interview next Tuesday.

i've been giving serious thought to going back to school (yep...again...) to get my Doctorate. i've been looking into the programs at Colorado State University, Northern Colorado University and Kansas State University. The programs would take about 3 years + 1 year of practicum...so 4 altogether. oh...and throw in dissertation research while you're at it. i think i'm just a glutton for punishment! but my dream is to continue the work i was doing during my graduate internship at the VA Hospital working with veterans with PTSD...and it seems that i'm going to have a difficult time getting to do that with my current credentials. government therapist positions are hard to come by as an MFT. so...do i settle or do i do what it takes to get that dream job? and what happens if after all that time and effort (and money) it turns out that it's not the career i thought it was going to be? and then there's the kids factor....i definitely wouldn't want to have a child while in school...so if I were to start next year that would make me 32 before having children...and then who wants to have kids right away when starting a career...ugh...decisions decisions. not having a job right now gives me plenty of time to think and ponder...probably way tooooo much time. so...is it in the cards for us to win the lottery? b/c that's about the only hope i've got of poppin' out a kid any time soon!!! (sorry to the grandma's...you're just going to have to wait on that one!!)

anyway, i'm not making any decisions tomorrow. going back for my doctorate is a big decision and i want to make sure that i know it's going to be worth my while before i commit to that much debt!!! i do feel like a plethora of opportunities will open up for me if i do go back...but i need to make sure it's the right thing for us. in the mean time...i give up!!!!